


i meant it all

by LexTheMoose



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Drunk Shane Madej, First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23878186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexTheMoose/pseuds/LexTheMoose
Summary: Shane gets a little wasted and starts gushing over a very flustered Ryan for everyone to see.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 19
Kudos: 359





	i meant it all

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Anon on tumblr who asked for Shane getting drunk and telling Ryan (and everyone) about how cute he thinks he is/how much he loves him.
> 
> I hope you liked this, please don't forget to leave a kudos/comment if you did!  
> Find me on tumblr: kingspapercrown.tumblr.com

The bar they chose to celebrate their 100th episode in is almost quiet, Ryan is certain they're the loudest there and if he wasn't half tipsy, giggling his ass off at whatever dumb shit left Shane's considerably drunk mouth at the moment. Ryan always loved when his friend got drunk. He was bold and loud and he didn't give any shit about anything in the world. Ryan wished sometimes that he could be like that.

It's not like sober Shane was too different from drunk Shane, especially when they were out with their little friend group but he's more shy around strangers, and Ryan is delighted to see this side of him from time to time.

No wonder Shane felt comfortable to get ass drunk with them, their crew was almost family at this point and Ryan feels the warmth spread through his chest and down his belly as he looks around them all. He has never felt more proud to call them his friends.

Ryan's proud of them all too, for dealing with Shane and his shit, for working so hard on Unsolved. They could've never achieved any of this without them and Ryan feels a bit emotional all of a sudden. It sneaks up on him, the stinging behind his eyes and the tip of his nose.

He finds himself blinking back tears, but his smile never falters. His eyes catch Shane's gaze and it's almost startling to Ryan, because he sees the same emotion in his eyes, his face, in the gentle curl of his lips. How is it possible that they always seem to be in sync?

Shane's hand lands on top of Ryan's, giving it a little squeeze and Ryan's heart plummets down to his stomach just to jump back up to his throat at the same speed, forming a lump there.

He ducks his head, still smiling, but he's embarrassed. Embarrassed by the surely visible flush to his cheeks and by how easy it really is to make him cry. Shane keeps his hand on his, a few seconds longer than it would be considered normal and friendly. It's more than what Ryan could file away as his imagination playing a trick on him or Shane being a good friend. Still, the little voice in his head is doubtful. _Does it even mean anything, though? Shane is always such a good friend._

Ryan would argue because they have had these interactions more and more often lately, Ryan can barely even count it how many times since they decided to jump right into investing in a company they can call their own.

Ever since they started filming for Watcher, and then Unsolved. The awkward but heartfelt 'I love you' they exchanged at the end of that specific Spooky Small Talk episode was exactly what Ryan needed that awfully stressful day. And Shane knew, he always does.

The memory of the romantic setting of the Lighthouse, Shane teaching him that stupid dance and being there for him when it was too much. When Ryan felt like he will break under the stress, and that they'll never succeed with Watcher and all that money and time was wasted. 

Ryan cherished them all, but there is one that pops into his mind the most often and even keeps him up at night sometimes. It's the couple of hours after they wrapped up the shoot at the Old City Jail.

Ryan remembers that night vividly and it still feels like a dream sometimes, if he thinks about it. He could've just fallen asleep and his stupid, pining brain could've made up that whole scenario. 

But at the same time, he knows he couldn't have possibly dreamt it. It felt too real, _too good_. The quiet of Ryan's hotel room, Shane's arms around him as he held him close, the soft fabric of his shirt pressed against Ryan's face and the sweet, musky smell of his cologne, the one Ryan loved so much. 

Shane's gentle whispers of comfort right next to his ear still send a thrill down his spine, even in the middle of the bar right now and Ryan feels hot, like electricity is buzzing under his skin. He's dying to touch Shane, so he does, pulling himself back into the intense, drunkenly conversation he's having with Mark.

Ryan puts a hand on Shane's shoulder like he's steadying himself, as he lets out a soft laugh and it may have been a mistake because Shane looks at him now, and he looks at him like Ryan hung the fucking moon. 

Who could really blame his heart for fluttering that hard and that unexpectedly? Ryan tries to.

"Speaking of which, isn't Ryan the greatest person you've ever met?" He asks, and Ryan chokes out a surprised laugh. "I'm not accepting any answer other than "yes, Shane, he is amazing." He's so goddamn smart and brave isn't he?"

"Hands down, best friend I could ever ask for. He's so- so selfless, so kind and generous, and- Aw, look at him, he's blushing!" Shane coos, his crooked, crinkly eyed grin is directed right at Ryan. And Ryan keeps wheezing and squirming under the fond looks of his friends and most importantly the full, undivided attention of Shane himself. He doesn't what prompted it, but it makes Ryan's insides melt anyway. 

He could never deal with people praising him too much, but this? Shane saying all of these wonderful things about him? Ryan can't fucking breathe. 

And Shane is nowhere near done yet. He's just starting to get into it, face flushed from the alcohol or something else too, Ryan can't tell.

"He's adorable, the cutest person I've ever met, I swear. You're so handsome, Ryan." Shane turns to him, to tell him, matter of factly. He's so ridiculous, Ryan can't help but laugh, even when he's extremely flustered. 

"And those arms," Shane trails off. "I would die for them. Any day." 

"Shane," Ryan groans, his face is burning now and his heart goes wilder and wilder with every word. Shane can't be serious. He's just drunk.

"It's true, baby! I can't get enough of how cute you are, I'm certain it will kill me one day. " He sighs, very dramatically.

"Every single day I look at you, Ryan and I think how? How did I get so fucking lucky to have you in my life? The weird-ass jokes and bits we have, your warm, beautiful sunshine smile, I don't deserve any of it." He says, so softly, the previous goofiness is gone, it's replaced with a gentle sort of seriousness, and Ryan can barely stand his gaze. 

He doesn't have to, because Shane gets distracted by Devon.

"Are you recording?" Shane asks her, cheerily. Ryan turns to look and sure enough, Devon has her phone up, aimed directly at them with the brightest smile Ryan has ever seen on her face. 

"Good! Listen- listen here, people." Shane continues like he's about to share the most important thing in the world with hundreds of thousands of people. And hell, maybe he is.

Shane laughs a little, and then leans closer to the camera, trying to put on a serious expression but it doesn't stand a chance against his grin.

"Ryan Bergara is the most precious, sweet, magnificent person I've _ever_ met. And I love him! I love him sooo much." He wheezes, practically yelling, and then he falls back against his chair. 

There is a flush creeping down from the apple of his cheeks to his neck. He's _so drunk_ , and so loud, Katie has to shush him as best as she can because the bartender is giving them a very unamused look that suggests they might get kicked out soon if they don't shut up.

Ryan, however, is frozen in his seat, looking at Shane with almost comically wide eyes because it's too much, too overwhelming to bear. Drunk share is amusing, he always was to Ryan, but this? This is new and scary.

Ryan wanted to kiss Shane many times, the urge popped up sometimes when they were laughing so hard about something dumb and they were barely catching their breath. The moment they looked at each other after those laughs. 

Or when Shane shows up to the office early in the morning, soft and sleepy, Ryan wanted to pull him closer every single time, by his chair and kiss him silly, to taste the coffee on his lips.

But the urge to kiss Shane and simply hold him close, it's never been this strong before. Because _fuck, Shane loves him._

"You always look so good in those ripped jeans too, you know," Shane tells him, breathlessly, when he notices Ryan staring. He leans close to Ryan as if he'd be sharing a secret, but it's pointless when he still speaks so loudly without even realizing everyone at the table can hear him. 

His eyes are dark in a way that punches the breath out of Ryan's lungs as he goes on. 

"And did I mention your arms already? Maybe I did." Shane chuckles, voice deep. "You're so strong, I bet you could move me around easily even though you're like a foot shorter." He grins and Ryan doesn't have the strength to roll his eyes. He doesn't have the strength to do anything but stare at Shane, lips parted.

"You know, I think you could hold me down real good as you fuck- hhmhpf." 

"Whoa, okay!" He gets cut off by Ryan's hands pressing against his mouth, smothering the rest of that sentence, whatever it may have entailed. Ryan really wants to find out, but not right now, certainly not in front of all of their friends who all burst out laughing or groaning uncomfortably.

"We're getting some fresh air, come on Shane. You fucking need it, Jesus fucking Christ man." Ryan mutters under his breath as he stands abruptly, grabbing Shane's wrist and tugging him out of the boot while Shane giggles like an idiot but follows him without a word of complaint. The only comfort Ryan gets out of this whole embarrassing (and admittedly wholesome) situation is that Shane will be just as embarrassed the next day. 

Anything but regretful, Ryan hopes.

The air outside is just a tad bit chilly enough to clear Ryan's head. He doesn't have a lot of time to think, however, because Shane is crowding him against the brick walls as soon as they step outside.

He's leaning in, pushing his lips against Ryan's in a sloppy kiss and almost missing Ryan's mouth entirely. Despite the messiness of it, Ryan's breath catches in his throat. A soft little moan escapes his mouth, swallowed by the eager press of Shane's lips. His mind shuts off, and all he can think about is Shane. The softness of his lips and the warmth of his big hands on Ryan's hips. And it's so good, Ryan almost gets lost in it. Almost.

"Shane, holy fuck-" Ryan squeaks out, pushing him away, firmly, just enough to look at him and take in Shane's alarmed expression. It's like he sobers up a bit and Ryan is grateful for it, even though he wants this, he wants nothing more than to pull Shane back in and make out like fucking teenagers.

"Did you not bring me out here for this? Shit- I'm sorry I-" Shane stumbles over his words, taking a step back, and then another. He runs his hand through his hair, looking anywhere but at Ryan. 

"Well, uh awkward. Guess I'll go and get my jacket. Call a Lyft." Shane gets out in one breath, slightly dazed, and he loses his balance as he strolls towards the door. Maybe a bit too confidently for someone who had as much beer as he did.

It's enough to pull Ryan out of his initial shock, he has been staring at Shane again, mouth hanging open like a dumbass. He moves quickly, sliding an arm around Shane's waist, to keep him up and hold him close securely. 

"Hold on there, big guy. We don't need you falling on your stupidly big face and hurting yourself. I'll call us a Lyft, alright?" He says gently. 

Shane chuckles again and makes a non-committal sound that Ryan takes as an agreement. He leans most of his weight on Ryan, who struggles to keep them both standing because that height difference between them is no joke, but he can't hide his fond little smile even if he wanted to. Things will be fine, right?

They're just outside, waiting for the Lyft Ryan called when Shane speaks again and Ryan stops fiddling with his phone, texting Katie and the rest of their friends with half an armful of his friend still. 

"Mhm, what was that, long legs?" He asks, and Shane lifts his head enough to repeat himself, clearing his throat before.

"I meant it. What I said in the bar."

"What part of boosting my ego did you mean? My kindness and generosity?" Ryan asks, but he can't joke away how his heart rattles against.

"Oh, no. Well– that too." Shane drawls, smiling when he moves to pull away and look at Ryan. "I mean- I meant that-" he gets a little confused momentarily and Ryan absolutely adores the way he scrunches up his nose, trying to make his brain work properly.

"I love you," Shane tells him eventually and Ryan forgets to breathe for the second time that night. 

"You better mean it in the morning too, Shane I swear to fucking– Uh, me too. I love you too, dumbass." his laughter is a little watery and wobbly around the edges because he isn't capable of thinking about the possibility that Shane doesn't mean it. He couldn't bear Shane telling him he meant it all as a friend and nothing more. 

Shane beams at him though, he keeps murmuring 'I mean it, I mean it Ry, I promise I do' and pressing little kisses to his cheeks until Ryan blushes so beautifully again.

And Ryan thinks it was worth it, to bare himself for a few minutes. He could be vulnerable for Shane when it's just the two of them standing outside under the soft lights of the street lamps and nearby stores, still leaning on each other.

Shane's hand finds his own when their drive finally arrives and they get into the car. He keeps their fingers laced together while Ryan tells the driver both of their address, Ryan notes how almost blissed out he looks, head tipped back and eyes closed. 

Ryan silently prays Shane won't forget it all in the morning.

"I'm not _that_ drunk." Shane huffs, making Ryan. Did he say that out loud? 

"I'll remember alright. And I'll be deeply embarrassed. And hungover. Oh, I'll be soooo hungover." He snickers, even though there is nothing particularly funny about it. 

"You should stay and take care of me." Shane grins at him, and he shamelessly peppers in a wink too, earning a wheeze from Ryan.

Ryan even scoots closer, until they're touching from feet to thigh and arms to shoulders. He feels more content than ever, with Shane nearly clinging to him and slowly nodding off on his shoulder.

"Just drop us both off at the first address, please." He tells the driver.

Tomorrow, he will find out just how embarrassed Shane will get in the morning, and he'll laugh at him until Shane complains about loud noises and they kiss, _properly kiss_ while Obi wounds around their legs, meowing to be fed and Ryan won't even mind his morning breath that much.


End file.
